Health

Well most of you who live near me know that I seem to be becoming the new Pillsbury spokes person. This is allotted to stress eating, fatigue and general ignoring of myself.

Thankfully I have a great backyard to use for my new EXERCISE regime. It it full of waist high weeds and is rather large in size. My new workout will be raking, pulling, swearing, and just getting good and sweaty. I may lose most of my weight in snot as I breathe in all the dust from these precious weeds. So be it. I'm going to be happy with the end result in my backyard being ready for grass seed, and in me for getting the job done and getting some exercise.

Preston has been a joy to work with and likes to sit on his tractor or work along side me.

Last week I worked on a Saturday and both girls joined me out side. It was not relaxing as usual. They had lots to say, and they bickered, and complained. I could feel myself getting ready to explode and banish them back to the house. I took a deep breath and thought "this is important" and just tried to ignore them the rest of the time. Does this make me a bad mom? To some. But to me, tolerating them and spending time with them working is important. And even though it was less enjoyable to me, they seemed to gain from the experience.

Even though Maddy refused to be happy with whatever tool she was given (even though each one were the ones she begged whined and cried for) and Haven was getting tired of her noise and having to give up her tools to pacify the little crazy. Preston just continued to sit on his tractor and play with his sand toys.

Haven also was impressed and a little envious that I could DRIP sweat! Cool. Somethign else I am good at. I told her when she hit puberty she'd sweat more and she is looking forward to being able to drip sweat too. Funny kid.

so I labeled the last entry incorrectly, who cares...

A turn for the better. After conversing with my Dad, I have a new hope for myself. He pointed out that I tend to sieze upon things and focus so hard that I create the problems that I am having. HOw is that for imperfection?!? At it's best I say! The constant setting myslef up for failure and unhappines.

Want to know a secret? You choose your mood, you choose how you feel. In many ways. It's how you view life and how you treat yourself and you body. If you eat like crap, you will feel like crap. If you don't go outside, you'll get down. If you focus on all the negative, you will feel that you cannot breathe and be seriously unhappy. I know I have a strong family history in depression, but medication can only do so much. Don't get me wrong, I am all for it, but I would love to not depend on it to feel happy or simply, not sad. Lowering or rather redefining your level of perfection also makes a HUGE difference when you can make it realistic. And most importantly being honest with yourself. I am not a huge fan of ALL the work that comes with having 4 kids. If I could skip all their fighting and whining I would. If I could have a maid, I would, if I could hire a professional organizer I would. These are things I truly do not enjoy and could do without. DOes this make me a bad Mom? Perhaps to some, but so be it, I am who I am. And that's all that I am...lol popeye

So this past week I've tried to count my blessing, be grateful for what I have for I truly have a lot! I have a successful Temple marriage, (hasn't always been so successful, so don't think this is a "brag". My NEW definition of successful is that we are not divorced and tolerate each other well - so we are pretty darn successful!) Wow I suddenly feel like I am good at something!

I have four Healthy, Intelligent, Beautiful, funny, adorable, sweet, strong, independent, hilarious CHILDREN! I hit the jack pot. Do they fight? constantly. Do I yell at them? yes I do. Would I like to give them away for weeks at a time? yes I would. Do they make me scream and run and hide? sometimes. But they are all alive, fed, clothed, and taught the Gospel of Jesus Christ. And in that, I am successful.

See how awesome I can be when I lower my standards of perfection! It's amazing! LOL

So as I revamp my brain and focus on the good, focus on what I am grateful for, Pray mightilty for a sweet change of heart so that I can cherish these young years,

turn for the better

So I've been going a little crazy lately, thinking that I would love to go back to school to become a chiropractor. What am I thinking right? A friend answered that when she seriously LOL in front of me when I mentioned it. I was a little taken back, all things are possible right?

Zack was very supportive and didn't laugh once when I talked about it, he even encouraged me to do it if I felt it was the right thing. With him backing me I needed to really think, this could actually be possible. =)

So next I went to the wisest person I know, who won't sugar coat, won't laugh at me, and will give me sound advice. My Dad. After a very good long conversation with him face to face, after a few tears, and the honest to goodness truth of it all, I have a better idea of what I want to do. To make sure I make the decision for the right reasons. Not for Money, not to get away from the house, not to have a break from the kids. But for me, and if I felt it was right and to truly help people.

Now I know that some of those wrong reasons definately play a role, we are a one income family and I love to shop and we are actually living fairly frugal when I look at it, but we also need to find money for saving for missions, colleges, and weddings, emergencies, new cars that don't break down all the time, a landscaped backyard, money for kids to do activities they are dying to do like football, horseback riding, dance, cheerleading, Starmites, music lessons and the list just never stops.

I also know that I would enjoy the challenge, getting out of the house a plus for my mental health. And feeling good at something that helps others would be cool.

My initial reasons I feel are right, I want to help like My chiropractor helps me and my family. I want to be able to adjust my kids, my parents, Zack, and all my family so they can feel good and live better. Especially when they have an accident like riding full on into a sign pole on their bike and stopping with their chin like Maddy did last night. :/

I want to learn, I want to learn about our bodies, they are amazing creations.

When it comes down to it. I know I want it for the right reasons, however, as I look at my children, I know that now is not the right time. I do feel sad about this. But who knows, the time may be right sooner than I think, OR I will be blessed to keep our great Chiropractor now and find my path in another area.

I trust the Spirit and I will strive to live in harmony with it so that