A turn for the better. After conversing with my Dad, I have a new hope for myself. He pointed out that I tend to sieze upon things and focus so hard that I create the problems that I am having. HOw is that for imperfection?!? At it's best I say! The constant setting myslef up for failure and unhappines.
Want to know a secret? You choose your mood, you choose how you feel. In many ways. It's how you view life and how you treat yourself and you body. If you eat like crap, you will feel like crap. If you don't go outside, you'll get down. If you focus on all the negative, you will feel that you cannot breathe and be seriously unhappy. I know I have a strong family history in depression, but medication can only do so much. Don't get me wrong, I am all for it, but I would love to not depend on it to feel happy or simply, not sad. Lowering or rather redefining your level of perfection also makes a HUGE difference when you can make it realistic. And most importantly being honest with yourself. I am not a huge fan of ALL the work that comes with having 4 kids. If I could skip all their fighting and whining I would. If I could have a maid, I would, if I could hire a professional organizer I would. These are things I truly do not enjoy and could do without. DOes this make me a bad Mom? Perhaps to some, but so be it, I am who I am. And that's all that I am...lol popeye
So this past week I've tried to count my blessing, be grateful for what I have for I truly have a lot! I have a successful Temple marriage, (hasn't always been so successful, so don't think this is a "brag". My NEW definition of successful is that we are not divorced and tolerate each other well - so we are pretty darn successful!) Wow I suddenly feel like I am good at something!
I have four Healthy, Intelligent, Beautiful, funny, adorable, sweet, strong, independent, hilarious CHILDREN! I hit the jack pot. Do they fight? constantly. Do I yell at them? yes I do. Would I like to give them away for weeks at a time? yes I would. Do they make me scream and run and hide? sometimes. But they are all alive, fed, clothed, and taught the Gospel of Jesus Christ. And in that, I am successful.
See how awesome I can be when I lower my standards of perfection! It's amazing! LOL
So as I revamp my brain and focus on the good, focus on what I am grateful for, Pray mightilty for a sweet change of heart so that I can cherish these young years,
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